Guideline to Working With SHIELD
by The World Is Alive
Summary: Mira is asked by Agent Coulson to create a guideline of basic rules for SHIELD. She decides to take up his offer and writes a guideline for SHIELD, the Avengers and the Grid. But who's going to follow them? Rated T for safety.
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Readers,_

_This is a set of rules that must be (like that will ever happen) followed during your stay here with SHIELD, the Avengers, and even on the Grid. I am not responsible for any injuries that might follow._

**Rule #1**

**Don't let Tony Stark ever visit the Grid without a guide.**

I woke up one morning to find a missed call from Pepper. A few minutes after calling me back, she was telling me that Tony decided to pay the Grid a visit. He mentioned something about wanting to meet Jarvis in person.

Programs were scared out of their wits when I went back to fetch him. Much to their alarm, they thought he was a giant recognizer coming back to haunt them. Thankfully Tron managed to keep them from panicking.

Tony swore that it was a good idea. And Tron nearly knocked him out from under his feet when he said that. I'm pretty sure Tony still has bruises from where Paige managed to kick him to the ground. She said he was giving him a weird look and everything.

So in conclusion, Tony isn't allowed to visit the Grid without asking me or Sam for permission. It's not a good idea to scare programs, especially after what they went through.

* * *

**AN: So this is going to be a sidestory I'm working on. I know the idea has been used before and will probably continue being used. But I couldn't resist. And did you notice that I brought Paige back? :P She might get some lines in the next sequel, History. But I'm not making any promises ;)**

**Generally, these chapters will be short. There might be some long ones, but again, I'm not making any promises. Let me know what you think, and you're more than welcome to submit your own ideas :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Rule #2**

**Don't play the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars when Director Fury is in the building**

I was helping Maria with the new recruits this week when Director Fury started approaching us. As usual Steve decided to call me at the worst time. Apparently I was watching Star Wars too much (I blame Tony for that), and loved the music to it. I actually changed my ringtone to the Darth Vader theme, and of course it started ringing just as Fury reached us.

A few of the new agents were cracking up while Fury tried to keep a straight face. Secretly I think he actually enjoyed the music. But he was not pleased to see how much everyone else was enjoying the little joke.

Eventually I just hung up on Steve. I'm surprised he remembered to call at all, considering he barely knows how to use a phone.

So after that little incident, playing the Darth Vader theme when Director Fury is around is not a good idea. Apparently SHIELD agents will think it's some kind of joke. And they won't take their jobs seriously.

* * *

**AN: For some reason this idea kept coming back. I've only watched bits and pieces of Star Wars, but I'm very familiar with the music. I actually had to play it in concert when I was in the band in middle school. Fun times :) Thanks to 2theSky and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	3. Chapter 3 - And We Meet Thor

**Rule #3**

**The songs 'Move' and 'Shake' by MercyMe have been banned from the hellicarrier**

Apparently they make SHIELD agents work faster.

It was something about the pace of the music? I personally enjoy MercyMe's music. But the fast pace caused a few agents to fail a few tests. One of them being a truth detecting test.

How was I supposed to know they'd take the lyrics so seriously?

**Rule #4**

I was told I should show Thor the Grid. Apparently he's been asking Director Fury what the Grid is and if it had anything to do with Asgard. I've never met the guy, but from what I've heard he can have a bit of a temper.

So Director Fury was with me when Thor finally met me. The first thing that came to his mind?

"Why is there a tiny version of Romanoff standing beside you?" I had to roll my eyes at the question. True, I did look a lot like Natasha. A lot of agents mistook me for her, but they soon learned the hard way not to compare me with the Black Widow.

"You wanted to see the Grid," Fury replied after introducing us. "Agent Barton is the only member of SHIELD with ties to the Grid."

Thor's eyes widened when Director Fury pointed this out. He kept looking between Fury and me as if trying to figure out whether or not he was telling the truth.

"Why does she share the same name as the archer?" Again with the annoying questions. And Fury was smirking. I didn't know what was worse. Being compared to the top agents of SHIELD, or watching Director Fury have fun watching this.

"You'll find out later," Director Fury told him. "I'm sure Romanoff and Barton will fill you in soon enough."

Thor only raised an eyebrow in response. I folded my arms and led the way towards the lab. Director Fury had asked Tony to move the Digitizer to the hellicarrier. After the last mishap, he didn't want to take any chances.

"I have to warn you, programs aren't exactly fond of red and orange," I explained after activating the Digitizer.

If Thor was anything like the files said, he didn't need such methods of transportation. I'd read from the files that Jane Foster wrote that the Bifrost was the best way of getting around other worlds.

"Wait, take these with you." Before I could say anything, a SHIELD agent handed me a box of poptarts. I raised an eyebrow curiously as the agent ruffled the back of his hair. "You'll thank me later for this," he added sheepishly.

I didn't bother pressing him further as the Digitizer rezzed us to the Grid. Thor was holding on to Mjölnir as we reached the edge of Argon. He looked around wildly as he tried to take in everything at once.

"This place is almost as marvelous as the halls of Asgard," he finally said after a moment of silence. "The colors are quite beautiful."

"You're here!" I held back a fit of laughter when I was nearly tackled with a hug by Beck. Thor jumped at the sight and raised Mjölnir, only to realize that Beck wasn't a threat. "Who's this?" he added after finally noticing Thor standing beside me.

Honestly I don't know how anyone couldn't notice him. Thor's muscles were bigger than Steve's, and that was saying something.

"Thor, this is Beck," I introduced them as Beck stood beside me, arms folded as he watched Thor curiously. "Beck, this is Thor, the God of thunder."

"So this is Thor?" Beck tilted his head to one side. Tony must have mentioned Thor a few times during his many 'uninvited' visits.

"Tell me, do you have any food to offer?" Thor asked once the greetings were finished.

"We don't eat food on the Grid," Beck explained cautiously. "Programs rely on energy for survival."

Thor's eyes widened in what I thought was panic. Without warning he raised Mjölnir and threw it to the ground, sparks flying off when it landed. Beck reached for his disk, but I quickly stopped him and handed Thor the box of poptarts the SHIELD agent had given me.

"Delicious," he chimed after eating the entire box in less than a nanocycle. After tossing the box aside carelessly, he demanded another. We were forced to leave early after that, and I apologized to Beck for the mess he left. Thankfully Beck's much more understanding than some programs I know (Tron).

I've learned the hard way not to visit the Grid with Thor unless I have a box of poptarts. It's been moved to the top of my rules.

* * *

**AN: So there's the next couple of rules. Number three was so short so I just added the fourth one in. I might switch the layout of these rules depending on how I feel in the next couple of stories. Plus I'm working on the first chapter of History, which will hopefully be posted some time next week :) Thanks PrincessKai317 for the suggestion, and for reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Rule #5**

We're not allowed at ATM anymore. Apparently they're a company that designs fish tanks. Tony thought it would be fun to see where the tanks from aquariums came from. And apparently ATM is the best of the best.

They were not happy to find Iron Man waiting for them outside. Well, a few of them weren't. Most actually ignored him and went on with their jobs. I was impressed with how fast they worked on the tanks. Our little trip didn't last long though when they called for security.

Fury was not happy to find out where we had gone. He nearly threw a temper tantrum after receiving numerous calls from the company. Most of which were questions about why Iron Man was there to begin with.

We've been banned from ATM since than. But I still have a few good pics on my iPod. I'm planning on showing them to Beck the next time I see him. He's never seen an aquarium before or the fish that live in them. I'd love to see his expression.

* * *

**AN: Another short one, but what can you do? ATM is actually a real company that builds amazing aquariums. If you've seen the show Tanked on Animal Planet, than you'll know what I mean. I want a coffee table aquarium! :D Thanks 2theSky and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Rule #6**

Don't hide the Avenger's coffee. Trust me, I learned that the hard way. I got bored and decided to hide all of the coffee in the lab. When Tony asked where it was, I just shrugged in response.

I was grounded for a week after they found out where it was.

**Rule #7**

Same rule applies to the last. Don't hide Thor's poptarts on him. He will go looking for them.

And he will get cranky if he doesn't get his fix.

**Rule #8**

Tony isn't allowed to ask the American Pickers to pay him a visit.

He gave them a call and said he had a lot of vintage things to look at.

By vintage he meant Captain America. Mike and Frank were stoked to meet him. But he wasn't pleased when Tony called him an artifact. We were just watching from a safe distance, grinning like idiots.

**Rule #9**

We aren't allowed in movie theaters anymore.

Tony rented out an entire theater for us. I invited Beck to have a movie marathon. We were there for almost two days.

Natasha used it as an excuse to finish her paperwork. Clint and Bruce were watching Despicable Me with us. And even Steve joined us after watching the Minions.

* * *

**AN: So here's the next set of rules. I'm thinking of writing four rules per chapter. There will likely be thirty rules total depending on how much time I have. Thanks PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Rule #10**

Dragons: Riders of Berk has been banned.

I became obsessed with the show after watching How To Train Your Dragon. Who can't resist the adorableness of Toothless?

Tony said that it's possible dragons could exist. Apparently thousands of years ago they did. But there isn't real proof.

**Rule #11**

We're not allowed to watch Transformers anymore. Tony loves the concept of Autobots and Decepticons living on our planet in disguise.

He says that if the Grid is real, than why can't Cybertron be real?

I'm pretty sure I saw him working on an Autobot in the lab. Something about giving the tower better security.

**Rule #12**

Tackle hugs aren't allowed. Surprisingly not everybody likes it.

Beck's used to getting tackled by Rinzler. But everyone else just glares at you. Steve just blushes every time.

**Rule #13**

We were watching the movie Brave when Tony asked why Marida looks so much like Natasha.

After the movie was over I didn't see Tony for weeks. Something about him asking if Marida was related to Clint and Natasha.

She has awesome archery skills. And she can put up a good fight. She really is a lot like them. But I would never say that out loud.

* * *

**AN: I've been watching way too many movies. Dragons: Riders of Berk is an awesome show if you haven't seen it! Highly recommended, especially if you haven't seen Toothless yet. You might die of cuteness overload. Thanks to Briannajs-22 and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Rule #14**

Wii Sports has been banned.

Everyone gets way too competitive. Even Beck and Tron compete with each other. At one point Bruce walked out of the room because he was ready to Hulk out.

I'm pretty sure he's still fuming in the lab.

**Rule #15**

Hide and Seek was banned.

Clint likes to hide in the air vents. Natasha just flees to the hellicarrier. Tony uses it as an excuse to work in the lab with Bruce, and Steve doesn't even bother hiding. Thor still hasn't gotten the concept of the game.

**Rule #16**

Using 'team bonding experience' as an excuse has been banned.

We went to our first concert. It turned out to be Winterjam, a Christian Rock concert.

The lead singer from Tenth Avenue North was only two seats in front of us. And Tony was hogging all of the attention. But he didn't seem to notice.

**Rule #17**

Don't steal my iPhone!

I caught Tony trying to sneak it into his lab. Apparently it wasn't at the same level as his technology.

He learned the hard way not to replace my iPhone with a Stark Phone.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. I've been very busy this week. Winterjam, another concert at my church. And can I say that Winterjam was the best place I've ever been at? Yes, the lead singer from TAN was literally two rows in front of us, singing with the crowd! Lacrae, Newsboys and Newsong put on an awesome show as well! It was definitely worth waiting outside in the cold. Thanks to PrincessKai317 for reviewing! :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Rule #18**

Don't throw a mentos into someone's soda or energy drink on the Grid.

Tried it once with Zed while Mara and Beck were working together. Had the time of my life when the drink exploded on him. He still hasn't figured out what caused the explosion.

**Rule #19**

Quoting Transformers has been banned.

"You ever see "Gunfight at the O.K. Corral"?" (Me)

"No, why?" (A few of the recruits I'd met earlier on)

"Looks like we're right in the middle of it."

"Is that good?"

"A lot of people died..."

Managed to scare quite a few new recruits when a real battle began.

**Rule #20**

Card games aren't allowed to be played during meetings.

I was playing a game of Rummy with Clint. Bruce was sitting between us, and we had to pass the cards under the table.

Needless to say Fury wasn't happy when he found out what we were doing. There are still plenty of games we haven't played.

I'm determined to learn them all!

**Rule #21**

Don't try to impersonate Captain Jack Sparrow.

After watching Pirates of the Caribbean, I couldn't help but laugh at how Tony tried impersonating him.

He actually did a pretty good job when he was drunk. As soon as she saw what he was up to though, Natasha banned me to my room. Tony isn't allowed to walk or talk like Captain Jack Sparrow, even if he is an awesome character.

* * *

**AN: Thought it was time for an update. A few more rules are left. After that I'll be focusing on History :) Big thanks to 2theSky and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Rule #22**

No more prank wars on the Grid, or anywhere for that matter.

Tony managed to prank most of the programs on the Grid.

After finding out who took replaced her light cycle with a light sword, Mara was ready to flip out on Tony.

Everyone else takes it way too seriously. I just stayed away from it all, hoping to avoid getting caught in the crossfires.

**Rule #23**

Bubble wrap should not be applied to Mjölnir.

Thor was not pleased to find out that it was covered in bubble wrap after summoning it.

He still hasn't figured out that Beck and I managed to cover the whole thing with bubble wrap.

We had fun watching him try to take it off.

**Rule #24**

Rolling chair races have been banned due to serious injuries.

This rule applies to the hellicarrier as well.

We all had an awesome time using the chairs with wheels as race cars. I beet Beck by a nose, but not without nearly slamming into a wall in the process.

Fury was not happy to see a large dent in the hellicarrier. He still hasn't had that fixed either.

**Rule #25**

Tony is not allowed to bring random strangers to the Grid.

Especially considering it isn't even open to the public. But he asked a few of his employees to check on some of the tech at Able's garage.

Tron was ready to blow a circuit when he saw how many Users were with Tony. Now it's my job to make sure that doesn't happen again.

* * *

**AN: Man it has been way too long since my last update. Many apologies for that, but life has kept me busy. With so many storms and job searches I've been swamped. Big thanks to 2theSky and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Rule #26**

Swearing on the Grid has been banned.

Surprisingly Tron actually knows most of them. He must have picked them up from Flynn during the early days.

And programs don't need that kind of language anyways.

**Rule #27**

Don't eat junk food around Bruce.

He frowns upon it and explains in full detail why junk food is bad for you.

I was more surprised that Beck actually agreed with him.

But they were potato chips. I haven't had them in years!

No one steals my snacks from me.

**Rule #28**

There's also the 'no playing with food' rule I forgot to mention.

For some reason he has a thing against playing with food.

Something about it not being polite playing with the food someone made for you.

**Rule #29**

Bungee jumping from Stark Tower is a big no-no.

I wanted to see what the big deal was.

Tony let me try it out, and I ended up having a blast.

Ended up scaring the crap out of Clint and Natasha though.

After that incident I didn't see Tony for the next few days.

* * *

**AN: I'm having fun writing these rules XD So I'm also writing the next chapter for Avengers Uprising. It hasn't been posted yet because I'm looking for any mistakes there might be. Hopefully in the next couple of days it will be posted. Big thanks to brianajs-22, 2theSky and PrincessKai317 for reviewing! You guys are awesome! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Rule #30**

Never say you're bored in front of anyone.

They will find something for you to do.

And believe me, it is not the most exciting thing in the world.

I learned that the hard way.

**Rule #31**

Don't wear the color green around Thor.

For some reason he isn't too fond of the color.

Just like some programs are still wary around the color orange or red.

It's just uncomfortable for them, especially after what Clu put them through.

**Rule #32**

Tony is not allowed to take us on random vacations.

Seriously, he went out of his way to show both me and Beck the world.

So far we've been to Europe and Mexico.

He's planning on taking us to Italy with Pepper next.

Only if Director Fury doesn't catch him.

**Rule #33**

The show Mythbusters has been banned.

Even on the Grid everyone watches it.

But a few programs have started trying out the myths to see if they were true.

Needless to say, Tron was not happy to send out his team and save their butts from explosions.

There's a reason they say 'Don't try this at home' before the show starts.

It's just common sense.

* * *

**AN: Hooray for multiple updates! I'm on a roll :D Listening to TobyMac certainly helped XD Big thanks to PrincessKai317, 2theSky and Briannajs-22 for reviewing!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Rule #34**

Truth or dare has been banned.

This is pretty self explanatory.

Everyone usually chooses dare. And it's almost always something ridiculous or impossible.

**Rule #35**

Don't randomly shout, "Hey Bumblebee, how's it going?" When passing a yellow Camaro

You will receive many strange looks. And people will think you're losing your mind.

Tony just grinned at me when I said that on the street. If you don't get the reference, you won't understand.

**Rule #36**

We've been banned from the grocery store.

For reasons unknown we decided to have a shopping cart race.

Even the employees joined in.

We were all having a good time until someone crashed into the produce section.

Lots of veggies got wasted that day. Tony wasn't pleased to find out about the huge bill he was getting afterwords.

**Rule #37**

Pokemon has been banned.

A few days ago Tony introduced me to the world of Pokemon. In a way the games reminded me of how real life worked.

Only when you beat the trainers, they give you cash. And you battle strange computerized creatures with powers.

I played Emerald for about an entire week without realizing how much time had passed.

What can I say? I was determined to beat the game.

* * *

**AN: Ehehe, couldn't resist adding in the Pokemon bit. I'm still obsessed with the series. Right now I'm working on XD Gale of Darkness. Big thanks to 2theSky, PrincessKai317 and Briannajs-22 for reviewing! You guys are awesome! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Rule #38**

Movie nights have been banned.

What, I'm catching up on everything I've missed.

So far I've seen all of the Disney movies. My favorite is Wreck-It Ralph.

I just love the music to it, and of course Vanellope. She's so adorable!

**Rule #39**

Don't place random Transformers insignias on Tony's suits or cars.

He wasn't impressed to find the Autobot's insignia on his Iron Man suit.

Surprisingly he loves the Decepticon's insignia more.

Something about them having a cooler design.

**Rule #40**

The following things should not be said when late for a meeting:

"I broke my alarm clock."

"The alarm clock attacked me first."

"Sorry, I suffer from short term memory loss."

(You get bonus points if you got that reference)

Seriously, I lost track of time because I was chatting with Beck. We tend to spend a lot of time together on the Grid.

**Rule #41**

Food fights are not to be held during dinner.

What, Thor started it!

He tried cutting something with a fork and it ended up flying at me.

So I threw a carrot at him.

Surprisingly Clint and Natasha had joined in.

Needless to say, Bruce and Steve were not happy to see all the wasted food.

**Rule #42**

Don't throw surprise parties for me.

They managed to scare the crap out me after calling about needing help for something.

Clint still has a pic of my face on his phone.

**Rule #43**

Same rule applies for #42.

Don't throw random parties on the Grid.

Tron wasn't happy to find all the balloons in the safehouse. At first he asked what they were for.

And when Tony explained it to him, he nearly freaked out.

Tony had to clean it all up before Tron returned from his patrol.

**Rule #44**

Attempting to lift Thor's hammer will result in many bemused looks.

I caught a few programs trying to lift it though when we payed the Grid a visit.

Thor kept on watching them with an amused expression as they failed every time.

"Tiny program, what are you doing?" He finally asked Zed the question as he tried lifting it in front of Mara.

Needless to say, he made himself look like a dork. But I'm pretty sure Mara still secretly loves him.

"Hey, if you can lift it, why can't we?" Zed finally gave up after Thor laughed at his response.

**Rule #45**

The following movies have been banned:

-Princess Mononoke

-Nausica Of The Valley Of The Wind

-Castle In The Sky

-Spirited Away

-Kiki's Delivery Service

-My Neighbor Totoro

-Howl's Moving Castle

-Ponyo

-The Tale Of Arrietty

I actually wouldn't mind looking for Laputa. Such a beautiful floating city.

And the spirits from Spirited Away freaked everyone out. Especially everyone on the Grid.

* * *

**AN: Big thanks to PrincessKai317, 2theSky and Briannajs-22 for reviewing! You guys are awesome! So which rules are your favorites so far? Mine has to be the shopping cart races. Have to do that again sometime :P**


	14. Chapter 14

**Rule #46**

Stop quoting Star Trek.

"They're trying to kill us! They're trying to kill us!"

Me during a battle. Everyone just gave me weird looks.

"Do have any idea how ridiculous it is to hide a starship in the middle of the ocean?"

I still wonder why Tony said that.

"Shut up Steve, we're trying to save you!"

I still laugh at that line. Steve's expression was priceless.

"The need of many outweigh the need of the few."

One of my favorite lines from the movie.

**Rule #47**

Clint, stop using Cyrus as target practice.

No matter how much he deserves it, it's still not right.

He can just rot away in prison for the rest of his life.

**Rule #48**

"Why is the rum always gone?"

"Oh, that's why."

"Nobody move! I've lost me brain!"

"We must fight, to run away."

The following phrases should not be said, especially on the hellicarrier.

Tony actually asked where all of his rum went. I didn't admit that I hid it on him, but I'm pretty sure he knows.

**Rule #49**

Dora the Explorer is not to be used as means of interrogation.

Seriously, I will never understand why kids love that show.

I just left the room when Tony tried forcing me to watch it.

**Rule #50**

Telling everyone that provoking the Hulk is a good thing should be self explanatory.

Fury wasn't pleased to find out how many new recruits were trying to provoke Bruce.

He was ready to Hulk out when one threw out an important paper.

**Rule #51**

Don't give the Avengers nicknames.

Natasha and Clint have nicknames.

Steve's the White and Blue Wonder.

Bruce is now known as the Gamma Bear. Secretly he's much more huggable than he appears.

Thor is the Caped Wonder.

I still don't have a nickname for Tony.

**Rule #52**

Stop smiling for a long period of time.

They will think that you did something wrong.

And they will interrogate you.

**Rule #53**

Beck, don't call Clint Birdie.

I never saw Clint get so annoyed.

Beck made a run for it as soon as Clint grabbed an arrow.

Luckily I managed to stop Clint before he could fire it.

**Rule #54**

Don't tell anyone that you're learning how to drive.

They'll only make things worse by creating their own courses.

Natasha and Clint use SHIELD's training course.

Tony is just a terrible teacher.

I think I'll refer to Bruce for this lesson. I'll need to learn sooner or later on the User world.

**Rule #55**

Explaining to Thor how to use a computer is almost as boring as teaching Steve.

The two just don't understand why we need such technology.

I just tell them that without it the Grid wouldn't exist.

That shut them up for a while.

* * *

**AN: I'm officially obsessed with Star Trek. Yeah, makes me sound like a geek :P But I love Chis Pine (he played Jack Frost in Rise of the Guardians), and just about everyone else in the movies. Big thanks to Briannajs-22, PrincessKai317 and 2theSky for reviewing! You guys are awesome! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Rule #56**

No more sleep over parties on the Grid.

Surprisingly Mara and Paige wanted to have one.

We stayed up for most of the night watching movies.

I never realized that Paige could be so much fun.

**Rule #57**

Rubik Cubes are not allowed on the Grid.

Everyone tried completing it in a cycle.

Surprisingly Tron and Beck completed it in seconds.

Zed got frustrated with it and threw it against a wall.

I was even more surprised when Paige showed Zed how to complete it.

I'll never forget the look on his face.

**Rule #58**

Never let me drink coffee again.

I'm pretty sure Clint still regrets introducing it to me.

I've never been more hyper in my life.

Afterwords I fell asleep on the couch for the rest of the day.

**Rule #59**

Don't mention anything Percy Jackson related to Thor.

For some reason he doesn't like it.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it's based on Greek Mythology.

I still enjoyed reading the books, despite his protests.

**Rule #60**

Tony, stop placing garden gnomes throughout the tower, and the Grid for that matter.

A few programs are too scared to go anywhere near the club now in Argon City.

Something about a creepy looking statue sitting in front of it.

**Rule #61**

Don't mimic Thor during a dinner party. Just don't.

*SMASH!*

"Another!"

I managed to scare a few people when I did that.

The glare Natasha gave Thor was priceless.

**Rule #62**

Don't hum the 'Mission Impossible' theme whenever Natasha's on a mission.

It seriously annoys her.

Especially when everyone else joins in.

**Rule #63**

Rock, Scissor, Paper, is not the best way to decide who should do what.

The dishes needed to be washed.

Nobody wanted to wash them because the dishwasher was broken.

Natasha finally gave up and did the dishes herself after the third round.

**Rule #64**

Never give me a permanent marker.

Especially if you're asleep.

I will find use of the marker and drawl all over your face.

It took Steve a good two hours to realize I had scribbled something on his neck.

He rarely shouts, but when he does, you better have a good hiding place.

**Rule #65**

Take some form of entertainment with you when you are about to go on a road trip.

This was in case we got stuck in traffic.

And unfortunately, we ended up getting stuck in a jam.

Tony and Steve had to hold down Thor while he tried escaping.

I just played a game of UNO with Clint and Natasha.

* * *

**AN: Ehehe, Tony likes teasing everyone on the Grid. I feel like he'd have a lot of fun treating programs like kids, just because they're so new to User stuff. Big thanks to 2theSky, PrincessKai317 and Briannajs-22 for reviewing! You guys are awesome :) Also, I have a poll up that's just for fun!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Rule #66**

The Sims game should not be mentioned around the Grid.

It can be dangerously addictive.

But everyone on the Grid thinks of it as offensive.

I don't blame them for believing this.

**Rule #67**

Don't press any random buttons around the lab.

"What does this button do?" (Me to Bruce)

"Do you really want to know?" (Tony's response)

**Rule #68**

Don't die your hair random colors.

Tony lost a bet and had to die his hair hot pink.

Steve nearly choked on his coffee when he walked into the kitchen.

**Rule #69**

This rule applies to #68.

Don't paint your room an obnoxious color either.

Thor nearly shouted in panic as soon as he walked in.

"I am blind!"

I couldn't stop laughing when he finally recovered.

**Rule #70**

Stop calling Coulson Son of Coal.

It's only cool when Thor says it.

**Rule #71**

Avoid Steve's cooking at all cost.

He may have the strength of a super soldier.

But he is definitely not a cook.

I think I saw something moving from the dinner plate.

**Rule #72**

Tickle me and you will suffer the consequences.

Beck learned that the hard way.

He still has a bruise on his shoulder from the last time he tried that.

Luckily everyone else knows better.

**Rule #73**

Don't change everyone's computer to a different language.

It was hilarious to see Steve and Thor try to figure out what their computers were saying.

Next time I'm changing the language to French.

I'm looking forward to seeing their reactions.

**Rule #74**

Never compare Encom tech with Tony's.

He will come up with a valid argument every time.

But at least he's smart enough to keep his mouth shut around Sam and Alan.

Now they're working together to create something even better.

**Rule #75**

It's not a good idea to blast music from your headphones.

I listen to my music really loud.

I'm surprised I haven't lost my hearing yet.

Bruce keeps telling me that eventually I will lose my hearing if I keep it up.

* * *

**AN: So yeah, a new set of rules are up. Big thanks to 2theSky, Briannajs-22 and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Rule #76**

Don't use any quotes from Ice Age.

"They're laughing, why is that such a bad thing?" (Beck to me when everyone started watching the Big Bang Theory)

"They died laughing!" (To which he nearly had a panic attack. It took me a good hour to calm him down)

"Where's the baby?" (Tony to me while we were in the lab)

"There she is!" (Sometimes I just wanna slug Clint in the arm)

"No way, this my first bath in decades!" (I'm not even sure why Tony shouted that)

"There's your proof." (Natasha is just awesome!)

**Rule #77**

Following Rule #74, the Avengers are not allowed to show up at parties thrown by Encom.

Sam only invited me and Beck.

But Tony insisted on bringing everyone since we were supposedly a team.

To which I responded with, "Since when are we a team?"

**Rule #78**

Randomly saying 'I hear a bomb' will result in the hellicarrier going into lock down.

I'm not even sure why I decided to say that.

But it did get me out of a board meeting with Fury and Agent Hill.

**Rule #79**

Don't place a metal detector on the hellicarrier.

You can imagine what happened when everyone went through it.

Surprisingly it didn't go off when Clint walked through it.

As for Natasha and Fury, that's another story.

**Rule #80**

Never tell anyone about Fanfiction.

I'm still not even sure why I looked it up.

I was bored one day and started looking at stories online.

Nobody saw me for the rest of the day.

**Rule #81**

Animal Crossing has been forever banned.

Newleaf is such a great game!

I named my town after Argon City.

So far it's close to being the 'perfect town'.

Which is more ironic than I could ever imagine.

**Rule #82**

Stop playing instruments in the middle of the night.

I learned how to play the bagpipe during a trip to Scotland.

And I loved the sound it makes. Such an awesome instrument.

Tony thought we were being invaded when I started playing it.

Needless to say his reaction was more than priceless.

**Rule #83**

"May the force be with you."

This one is self explanatory.

Tron couldn't keep a straight face when I said that to him.

**Rule #84**

Don't ask Tony to do your paperwork.

Fury had given me three days worth of paperwork.

Tony had it finished in about an hour.

Unfortunately I couldn't understand a single word when I read it.

**Rule #85**

Never show me Twilight again.

I'm seriously appalled that such nonsense exists.

Tony thought it would be a good movie to watch.

He even went as far as comparing Beck to Edward.

To which I punched him in the arm and left the room.

* * *

**AN: I couldn't resist posting some of those rules. They're just too hilarious for their own good, especially the quotes from Ice Age. One of my favorite movie series :) Thanks 2theSky and PrincessKai317 for reviewing!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Rule #86**

Stop mentioning Superman around Steve.

For some reason he's not too fond of Superman.

Something about him being too perfect.

I think I know the real reason though.

**Rule #87**

Don't hack into other people's accounts.

The tool Beck uses makes it easy to do so.

But they will get back at you for it.

And don't even bother trying to hack into Tony's computer.

Jarvis just shut it down before we could even get in.

**Rule #88**

Tony, stop trying to kidnap Rinzler!

I noticed him trying to take Rinzler to his lab.

Luckily Pepper stopped him before he could get very far.

Rinzler is not to be experimented on, no matter how tempting it may be.

**Rule #89**

Even I have to wonder this one.

Don't tell Thor that a platypus is God's little joke.

Seriously.

An aquatic mammal that looks like a beaver and duck combined.

I didn't bother explaining to Beck why it looks that way.

**Rule #90**

Air vents are not to be used as methods of transportation.

For some reason Clint is obsessed with them.

**Rule #91**

Thor, stop letting out the animals at the zoo.

Even if you do feel sorry for them.

I'll never forget Fury's face when we tried explaining what happened.

**Rule #92**

The song 'I Can Only Imagine' by MercyMe has been banned.

For some reason everyone finds it so distracting.

The orchestrated version is so much better than the original.

I could listen to it for hours and never get bored.

**Rule #93**

We're not allowed to play Kingdom Hearts anymore.

Some of those games are just too heart-wrenching for me.

But they have an awesome storyline.

**Rule #94**

You shouldn't wear socks around the hellicarrier.

I'm not sure why I decided to only wear socks.

Fury wasn't happy when I slid into an agent while running.

You wouldn't believe the swearing that followed.

**Rule #95**

Following Rule #89, don't explain what a platypus is to anyone on the Grid.

You wouldn't believe how many confused faces I saw.

Their reactions were hilarious when I showed pictures of it.

It was even funnier when Zed asked why a beaver and a duck would get together in the first place.

My ribs are still hurting from that one.

* * *

**AN: Sorry for the delay in updates. Last night I was at the Casting Crowns concert. And they were amazing as usual :D I love listening to Mark's preaching. He always knows what to say, and it was even more epic when for KING and COUNTRY played with them when they sang 'Until The Whole World Hears'.**

**Big thanks to 2theSky, PrincessKai317 and Briannajs-22 for reviewing! You guys are awesome! :D**


	19. Chapter 19

**Rule #96**

Schwarma night has been changed from every night to every Friday.

I'm not even sure why Tony is so obsessed with it.

Apparently it's a sandwich stuffed with meat and veggies.

I'm still a little reluctant to try it.

**Rule #97**

When someone is sleeping do not poke them and ask them if they are dead.

Clint sleeps like a log most of the time.

So when we were running late for a meeting Natasha was forced to wake him up.

She was almost to the point of having Thor zap him with his hammer.

Thankfully Clint woke up just in time.

**Rule #98**

Stop sending out random acceptance letters to people.

So far I've sent out Loki's Army acceptance letters.

Surprisingly a lot of them have gotten returned.

And they were full signed by the people I sent them to.

Not sure if I should be impressed or worried.

**Rule #99**

Call Of Duty has been banned from the tower.

Steve, Clint and Tony were playing it when Thor came wandering in.

A gun was raised towards them and he suddenly threw Mjölnir.

I've never seen them look more annoyed as they tried explaining it was a video game.

Thor still doesn't get it.

Now there's a giant hole where the television was.

**Rule #100**

Tony, stop calling Clint Legalos.

It's bad enough he's got the nickname Birdie.

**Rule #101**

When you're sick, don't bother going in for work.

I never got sick on the Grid, so it was never a problem at the time.

Until one day I got a cold.

Have to say though, it was nice having someone else care for me for once.

Does that seem selfish?

**Rule #102**

Don't draw mustaches on people's faces while they're sleeping.

I think this goes along the line of never give me a permanent marker.

It's just a bad idea for everyone, except me.

**Rule #103**

Don't tell the new recruits that being part of the games on the Grid is the new test.

A few of them were scared when I told them what really went on.

The games have been banned for now.

But Tron was seriously considering bringing them back.

Maybe when things are finally settled down, or when programs stop killing one another for revenge.

**Rule #104**

Sleeping bag races should not be held on the hellicarrier.

There is a serious risk of injury along the lines.

But it was still funny watching Natasha and Clint compete with each other.

Those two have to make everything a competition.

**Rule #105**

Don't introduce Thor to Facebook.

I decided to open an account just for the fun of it.

But Thor updates his status every five minutes.

In an hour I just decided to ban the posts.

No need to make him feel bad by 'unfriending' him.

* * *

**AN: Wow, so I've reached 105 rules. So do you think I should continue, or start writing one-shots following the rules? If so than I will continue writing this depending on what everyone says :) Thanks to 2theSky, Briannajs-22 and Guest for reviewing! You guys are awesome!**


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